Closure
by paidforpleasure
Summary: This is just a bit of a story I whipped up. I do plan on continuing it one day, but for now it's kind of on hiatus. But it also works as a one-shot, so all is well! Jasper POV


**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.**

Alice lay back against my chest, and I pulled her close. 'Tell me the story Jazz; tell me about why you find San Francisco so haunting.'

I wrapped my arms tighter around her, and kissed the top of her head. 'We've not even been there yet, and you already know what it will be like for me.' I smiled half-heartedly. 'I've tried for decades to forget what happened, but it seems like I never will.'

I sighed into Alice's hair as I began to speak.

'You know almost all of my stories, but this is one I've never revealed to anyone. I'm not sure why, I guess maybe I'd always been haunted by it, and reliving it was just too painful.' I whispered.

'You know my history, know that I have far from a clean past. I still have a heart though, even if it isn't beating. I can honestly say that I did feel compassion for those I had to kill, and not just because I could literally feel their fear. I always told Maria that I had never let one of my victims go, that I had never changed my mind about whose life I would take, and she would never suspect me of lying, as I could simply fill her with trust if she ever doubted me. And, for the majority of the time I spent around her, it was true. I guess when things changed, when I had to lie to her, was when I truly realized that I couldn't continue like that, when I felt like I had to escape.'

'As we set out for the night, nothing felt overly different. There was a slight feeling of anticipation in the air, as there was talk of the end of the Great War. Nobody really dared hope too much outwardly, but on the inside, most people felt a little better. I wandered the streets, wishing I could soak in the hope, praying that I could find a group of happy people, so I could perhaps feel a little better, even for a just a moment. However, I felt forced to wander the dimly lit alleyways, I knew if Maria caught me walking the main streets, she would know something wasn't right. The effects of the War were showing down these dingy paths, with countless people begging for food and spare change, and many more sleeping on the back steps of shops, trying to feel just a little warmth from inside. The desolation and despair were rife here, and I almost couldn't bear it at times. A small part of me felt it would almost be a blessing to whichever of these lost souls I decided to feed upon. Almost as if they would be grateful for the end of their pain, which I guess many of them would have been.'

'More often than not, the beggars would avoid me, some inward knowledge to stay away perhaps, or maybe it was the grim look my face always held. Occasionally, one would approach, and I would usually throw them whatever cash I had on me, and they would scuttle on their way. I had no need to hold onto these funds, we only ever needed money to update our clothing, so we could blend in with society when necessary. On this particular night however, I had little aside from the clothes I was wearing, and my Major's shoulder patch, which I'd carry round as some kind of reminder of what I had been, of what I could have been had everything not been taken from me. It was stupid to hold onto such a material possession, and I knew it, but it gave me something to daydream about, something to remind me that existence hadn't always been so horrendous. Being over 50 years old, the patch had faded quite a bit, it was tattered and worn, but it was the one thing I could call my own, so despite the uselessness, I held onto it. It was this that my fingers gently caressed as I pushed my hands deeper into my pockets and slunk down yet another cobblestoned alley, with the intention of attacking the next person I saw alone. I was weary of the sadness I was surrounded by, and I wanted nothing more than solitude by this point.'

'As I stared around the darkened doors, studying the dust-covered cobwebs that hung from the corners, I smelt someone enter the alley behind me. I was thirsty, and their blood smelled good. There was nothing special about their scent, but I needed to drink, and they smelt weak, an easy target. '

'I filled the space between us with a calm feeling, and turned around with my most charming smile. When I saw what stood before me, however, I froze. Just a mere 2 feet away, stood a tiny girl, who couldn't have been more than 5, maybe 6 years old, her too-small clothes nothing but rags that hung from her skeletal frame. The sadness that radiated from her was more intense than anything I'd ever felt to that point, and probably more than I've ever felt, even now. I felt like dropping to my knees, and crawling into a ball, reducing myself to nothing more than a sobbing mass. But regardless of what I could feel from her, it was her eyes that touched me the most. They were such a piercing blue, and there was more depth and sadness to them than anybody should ever know. Despite the monster that I was, those eyes made me forget the thirst that I felt; they evaporated all the lust I had for her blood. She looked up at me, and in a voice so quiet, I doubt human ears could have heard it, she whispered 'Sir, do you please have anything I could perhaps eat?' Her voice, so innocent, yet so filled with pain stabbed into my heart such force it could have knocked me over. I could not speak to answer her, so I simply dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around her, wishing I was warm enough to heat her frozen body. She was a little taken aback, but as I sent out as much comfort as I could, she gradually began to relax. I couldn't make the emotional difference with this girl as I could with any other creature, but I was at least able to make her calm, and remove at least some of the anguish from her. Forgetting what I had come into town for, I stood, and took her tiny hand in mine. 'Come my little child; let us find you some food.' I smiled down at her. '

''My name is Jasper. What's yours?' I attempted to make small talk as we wandered out into a better lit street. She looked back up at me, and a small glimmer of hope crossed her eyes. 'Florence.' She replied, the corners of her mouth just barely lifting. 'Well, Flo,' I said, 'how about we warm you up, and then I shall go into that tavern over there, and bring you back something nice and warm for dinner?' I took of my jacket, having no real need for it aside from aesthetics, and wrapped it around her tiny shoulders. Neither of us could help but giggle as the bottom of the jacket brushed the ground, far too big for her. I grinned down at her, and rose to my feet. 'Florence, you just wait here, I'll be right back.' She nodded, flapping the too-long arms of the jacket about. I rushed over into the nearby tavern, which was practically empty, and ordered a large serve of Cottage Pie. As I waited anxiously, my thoughts were consumed with this tiny girl, who had managed to make me feel more compassion than I had ever dreamed possible. I wished more than anything that I could help her, that I could make things just a little better for her, but I had no idea how to go about it. I ran through the possibilities as I collected my order and raced back to the streets, where Florence stood patiently waiting for me. Her face lit up as she caught the smell of the pie, which I suppose smelt like heaven to her hungry nose. We sat down in the street, and she wolfed down the pie hungrily. 'Flo…,' I slowly spoke. 'What happened to your family? Why are you alone out here?' I regretted my sentence for a moment, as she looked up with a single tear glistening in her eye. 'It's ok to ask.' She whispered, patting my knee. 'They're happier where they are.' She took a deep breath before beginning. 'Daddy went to the War. He flies planes. But then one day the bad men were shooting at the planes, and they hit Daddy's plane, and so the angels came and took him to live with them and God. Mummy was very upset, she missed Daddy so much, and my brother Albert and I would lie in our beds at night and we could hear her cry. One day we came home from school and the policeman was there, and he told us Mummy had decided to go and live with Daddy in Heaven. We never had a Pop or a Nan, so the policeman took us away to live with some strangers. But they used to hit us and make us do lots of work and they would send us to bed without anything to eat. One night Albert woke me up and said we were running away from the mean people. I was scared, but I loved Alby, so I hopped onto his back and we ran away. We lived in an old house that Alby had found, and we never talked about the mean people. A few nights after we had been living in the house, Albert was telling me a bedtime story when we heard a noise outside. He quickly blew out the candle and told me to be as quiet as a mouse. He walked over to the window and looked out. I heard somebody yell outside, and then there was a really loud bang and Alby fell over. He had this red stuff all over him, and he looked up at me, and he couldn't talk properly. He just told me to run, and that he loved me more than anything else in the world. I gave Albert a kiss and then I ran and ran and I didn't look back. And I've been alone since then. I know Alby is helping the angels take care of Mummy and Daddy, so I try not to cry for him or miss him too much.''

'I just looked back at her, and I didn't know what to say, so I hugged her again. I knew now what I had to do. Maria had always warned us about changing a child, that the Volturi would consider it treason, and the punishment was unbearable. I had also never dreamed that I would change someone entirely of my own volition, I always felt like it was something that was demanded of me. I hated doing it, I dreaded the idea of forcing somebody else into this lifestyle, but a fair part of the reason I hated what I had become so much was because I never had the chance to say goodbye to my family, I never had someone to show me that things could be different. But Flo had no family, and in the eyes of this little girl, I could see for the first time that I had a choice, I didn't have to do Marias bidding, I could be a little less of a monster, somehow. And I could perhaps help this tiny angel have a chance a something a little better than she would have if she remained human.'

''Florence, I need you to be very brave for me, can you do that?' I looked down at her. 'I'm going to do something to you, and it's going to hurt a lot, but only for a little while, and once the pain stops, everything is going to get better, I promise. But I need you to trust me. Can you trust me?' I knew my voice was shaking, but I tried not to feel any emotions that might change her mind either way. May looked up at me, biting her lip, and nodded. 'Are you going to make me like you, Mister Jasper?' she asked. 'You're different. I don't know what you are, but you're different. I want to be like you.''

'I nodded, and bent down to pick her up. As I gently carried her to the abandoned house I had passed earlier, I tried to tell her what I could about what she was going to become, about how she needed to be so very careful when the pain stopped or it could all become worse. '

'Ever so softly, I placed her on the tattered mattress that lay in the corner of one of the dust covered rooms. I whispered in her ear about how she needed to keep as quiet as she could, no matter how much it hurt, because if anybody found her, then everything for our kind would be ruined.'

'Still unsure if I was doing the right thing, but not really seeing any other choice, I softly kissed Florence's forehead as I bent towards her neck. I wasn't certain how exactly to do this, as she was so tiny, and wouldn't need anywhere near the venom our normal subjects required. I breathed deeply, then, closing my eyes, and praying this would work, I pierced the skin. Flo whimpered a little, but otherwise stayed impossibly quiet as the venom spread through her body like wildfire. I sat back on my heels, and hoped I had made the best choice. There was no going back now, and I cringed as I watched her tiny body writhe in pain. I'm not sure how long I sat there and just watched her, but after a time, she opened her eyes and looked straight into mine. I knew the process was a long way off complete, yet what I saw filled me with relief. There was pain in her eyes, yes, but no more than there had been long before I had bitten her. I glanced out of the window, and seeing it was gradually getting light, knew that I had to leave. I brushed Florence's hair out of her face, and promised her I would be back as soon as I could.

'The next twelve hours were the hardest I've ever experienced. I was so consumed by worry, but I had to remain completely alert so I would not feed Maria this concern. She knew something was up though, as I distanced myself more than usual that day. Time then always seemed to crawl, but that day felt as though it had come to a complete standstill. By the time the sun was setting, I was a nervous wreck. I left as soon as the last rays disappeared over the horizon, and as soon as I was free of the others, I hit full speed. I couldn't get back to Florence fast enough.'

'When I reached the building, I was relieved that I could still hear her. She was quiet, certainly; no human ear could have picked up on the soft whimpers coming for the deserted house. As I darted into the room where she lay, I could see that the process was almost complete. She was aware of my presence, though still yet unable to acknowledge it. I knew that within a matter of hours, she would be a fully fledged newborn vampire.'

'I knew Maria would be keeping a close eye on me tonight, so I made the painful decision to return to her for those few hours. My mind, however, would remain in the house. I was still a good mile away when I heard a voice call my name. I turned, poised to attack, and then relaxed the instant I saw who it was. Peter, who had disappeared some five years earlier after letting one of our subjects go, greeted me with a friendly smile. He pulled me into a quick embrace, and we began chatting. He told me about how he and Charlotte, the newborn we'd allowed to escape, had built a new life for themselves, how much they loved being free of Maria, how nice it was to be able to do as they pleased. I could feel the joy radiating from every fibre of his being. I would give anything to feel that for myself. Peter knew it to, and told me to return to Charlotte with him. I couldn't think of a better idea; my ideas had consisted of killing Maria, and, well, killing Maria. And now with Florence involved, I needed more than ever to be rid of Maria. Florence. I didn't know how I was going to get around that with Peter and Charlotte. I had a decent feeling I could trust them, but it was certainly going to be a risk. I smiled as Peter spoke, and told him I would come find them, but first I had a few things I needed to sort out. He looked puzzled, but didn't question it. He explained to me where to find them, then bid me farewell.'

'My mind raced as I made my way back to Flo. I was consumed by so many conflicting emotions. I was overjoyed to be finally free of Maria's wrath, but terrified of what would happen if I was caught with Florence. I was excited to spend time with Peter again, but concerned with what they would think – if I even revealed my great secret to them in the first place.'

'I walked in just as Flo was sitting up. She looked towards me as I walked in, her eyes now a fiery red. I was apprehensive as to how she would react to me, so filled the room with calmness without bothering to feel her emotions first. She cocked her head to one side, as if trying to read me. Ever so slowly, I drew back my emotional barrier, and tried to read her feelings. I sighed with relief as I felt nothing more than respect and a little gratitude coming from her direction. She smiled and spoke. 'Jasper? Am I like you now?' I nodded, and she seemed pleased. 'We need to leave though, right now. Ok Flo?' I reached for her hand as she stood. I could tell she was thirsty, though she was not entirely aware of the burning in her throat just yet. I would need to teach her immediately how to kill, and what to watch for while feeding. We went on our first hunting trip together that night, in one of the very alley ways I had been wandering when we found one another. I didn't feel as bad killing here, and if I could pass something onto Flo, it would be to try to only take the lives of those who had little going for them.'

'Once she was fully satisfied, I knew we had to start the trek to find Peter and Charlotte. I still wasn't sure what exactly I was going to tell them about Flo, if anything.'

'We reached their area in just a few hours, and within moments I could hear them ahead. I bent down to Flo, and whispered in her ear that she needed to stay right where she was, and not make a sound while I spoke to Peter. I needed to gauge the situation before I told him anything. I was almost certain by this point that I needed to keep Florence to myself, as I didn't want to implicate anyone else should the worst happen. I had one idea up my sleeve and I needed to test it would work. As I neared my fellow vampires, I called to Peter. He and Charlotte ran to me the moment they heard my voice, embracing me and chattering about how pleased they were that I joined them. After a few minutes, I decided to put my idea to the test. Relaxing, I sent out a hazy and dreamlike feeling, praying beyond belief that this would cause them to think they were dreaming, imaging things. To my utter delight it seemed to work. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this up too much, but it would work fine if Flo ever needed to be around them. Smiling to myself, I withdrew the haze and told them I needed to hunt, so I would see them in a few hours.'

'I managed to live like this for a few years, teaching Flo how to handle herself, and anytime I sensed she was coming close to being seen by Peter or Charlotte, lulling everyone into a dream state, so they would think they had imagined her. I should have known better than to relax though, as just as I was beginning to enjoy my existence again, everything fell apart. I had never stopped going through hell when I killed, but as least I had something to look forward to. One day however, I had been out hunting, and I was on my way back, feeling low, but looking forward to spending some time with Flo. As I neared our camp however, I noticed her scent was not in the air. Slowly, but surely, panic washed over me. I rushed around, I think I must have covered hundreds of miles that night, but I couldn't find a trace of her anywhere. She was gone. I briefly returned to Peter and Charlotte to tell them this wasn't working out how I had hoped, and left them, not really knowing where I was going, only what I was looking for. I never found it. Not even a trace. She just… vanished. I only pray that the Volturi never found her, I couldn't bear the idea of her being captured by them, especially now she was no longer a newborn, and had such good control over her actions.'

'I still think about her often, even though I've tried to forget. I've never mentioned this to another soul Alice; I just couldn't bear to bring it up again. I just wish I knew what had happened to her. Just one final answer, just to know she's doing ok.' I sighed, and looked down into Alice's eyes. 'I just want closure.'


End file.
